The Haven

She sits there, forlorn and tired. Her chin rests on her knees as she hugs herself to block the chill off. The moon throws its eerie, silvery glow over the world below. A distant hoot of a barn owl or a howl from some stray dog breaks the icy silence. She gazes somewhere far, not knowing herself the destination unknown.
She thinks about him and an affectionate sigh escapes her lips as she shifts her position. There he stands…that captivating smile playing on his handsome face, reaching his eyes and making them dance.
He moves towards her with gait like a feather floating in air and reaches her softly.
“What’s bothering you today?” he whispers as he floats down beside her. She looks away, her hair making a veil of black silk over her face.
“The dream…” not looking at him, she says in a small voice.
He laces her fingers with hers and softly presses her hand. Surprised he is at the coldness of the small hand in his. He rubs it, glowing warmth spreads through her. That even melted the ice of her eyes causing the water to trace her cheeks.
“The dream again.” Says he.
“He never comments on the dream, never unfolds its mystery to me? Why it haunts me so?! Why am I so alone in it when he is always within thoughts reach…?”
She thinks as her eyes searches the answers on his radiant face. His lips brushes against the back of her hand, his touch like a cool breeze flowing through the leaves, making them dance ever so lightly.
She smiles then; his presence always has such effect on her. He notices the calmness spread over her so steers her towards her room. The graceful fingers tuck her in and he sits there, holding her hand until she lulls to sleep, looking in those dreamy eyes.
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She stands there all alone, scared and panting as is she has run miles and miles. A heart-stopping growl makes her realize that she is being surrounded by wolves…blood-thirsty, cold-blooded and lusty wolves, who looks at her with drooling mouths. She backs away, tries to save herself but stumbles and falls down. Closing around her are wolves and stranded she is alone…
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She wakes up all sweaty and out of breath. Her heart thumping wildly as if was trying to break the cage of ribs. She looks around but couldn’t find him.
“Why this dream haunts me so much?!” sobs she.
“Why are these wolves always clambering around me? Looking at me so lustfully… why am I so alone in it? Why isn’t there somebody to help me out? Is it how the send would be like? Would I be taken by the wolves…tear me apart, would they?”
“So many questions, Lord! So many! For answers I search, I crave…” she sobs in her hands.
His touch spreads ripples through her, just as a stone thrown in still water, those ripples which spread further and further until disappearing. He says nothing, just holds her tight. Her answers still blowing in the wind, the questions echoing in her ears…she buries her face in his chest and feels safe there, in the protection of his arms.
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This world is clustering and overflowing with wolves un-leashed. All lusty and barbaric. Woman’s respect has shrunk to merely desires and lust. This is the dream that irks her so much, she being all alone in this world with “wolves” around her.
She takes refuge in her imagination where she is loves, truly and respectfully. Where he holds her tightly when she is scared, suffocated and torn. Listens to her passionately and calmly when she is all down…where she is not looked at with lustful eyes, drooling mouths.
These imaginations, visions and illusions sometimes form shape, reality. And this reality keeps the world struggling on, gives many a people a reason to live, breath, smile and to look forward to a new day, to the crisp sun to glimpse over the horizon and…to feel the warmth.

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My Breath comes out cold as I wonder in this frosty winter night. My feet leaving prints on the fine, crunchy ice. After trudging for some time I stopped and looked back. All I could see is the snowy white ice and on it, looking like dark halo, imprints of my feet. Not at all elegant…the way they used to be, the gait has lost its grace. They are uncertain, heavy and stumbling steps. For some time, I sit there wishing for these prints to vanish, staring at them as if only staring would make the ice melt and fill those spaces known to be print of my feet.
When the fingers of my feet protested for the intense cold, l sigh, making a frosted white cloud in front of my face. “This cold and ice is so strange,” I thought. “You walk on it and your feet and body will remain warm, alive. Stop at it and it eats you up. Just like sadness…walk over it and you will remain warm, alive but stop at it… you suffocate and die.”
Darkness around me and the earth shining bright under my feet, I again walk ahead. The snake-line imprint of my feet following me everywhere I go. On the path, all the trees are bare with naked limbs intermingled, giving somewhat an eerie look. The path leads to a lake, all frozen. Taking small steps I reach it. Feeling an unknown dread I take a peep in it. The clear icy surface shows a face with dangerously dull eyes, colorless lips and mattered hair.
‘Who is she? ’ I wander.
The fear inside me holding me back, stopping me from acknowledging the answer I already knew.
‘It is you…’ the wind whispers in my ears. Stooping again…I look into those eyes; I extend my hand, the ‘person’ extents her hand too.
I touched it, so icy cold…shivers pass me.
‘This is me…’ was it a question or a remark??
A tear fell on the icy surface, I withdraw my hand and without looking back stand up, vacating that place which showed me my identity, my reality.
I now walk with a heavy heart, wishing this darkness swallows me up…makes me a part of it. This way I won’t have to bear those dull, vacant eyes and those colorless lips. Parted as if asking questions, those questions whose answers the mind knew but the heart doesn’t want to acknowledge.
I am running away from inevitable. I am afraid to voice aloud my fears. I want to pretend that everything is fine, the same. The sun shines…the moon spreads its glow and the stars twinkle in the vast velvety black sky….but then why is it so cold…??
The tail of footprints still following me, I creep through the silent cold night…hugging my own self, for in all this obscurity and draftiness…my body is the only asylum which tells…there’s Hope.
And I moved on…

O God...forgive me when i whine..

Today here I stand,
With clasped hands,
In front of the Mighty,
With down cast eyes, with piety.
Recalling my sins
And negligence of my duties
For engrossed I became
In these worldly beauties.
But after these days, so tiring,
I seek sanctuary in His kingdom.
Forget, I did, His message, His word.
Going knee deep in this freedom.
Today I am with bowed head,
My heart was replaced by lead.
I incurred His displeasure.
Being proud and holding high my head.
But again in front of Him I am,
To break through the refuge so sham
With every tear and every sob
I long for His blessing
For the forgiveness I hope.
He is Generous, He is Merciful,
He is Beneficial, He is Merciful.
He is the first, He is the Last.
“To Thee we pray,
And from Thee we seek help”
I am a mere human, a sinner
I look up at Him, the Forgiver.
Surely the fall my pride hath,
So please God:
“Guide us to the right path”
Never, I intend, to be astray
Holding His hand, showered in His blessings spray
Bowing down, to Him I thank
For this life and the happiness I bank,
Forgive me Allah…for my blindness
Am a swali in the court of Thy Highness
Forgive me…for only you know my tears,
And all my fears,
Blind I was…to seek help elsewhere
Now I feel light, as I stand here
Feeling a bond with You,
To be a better person, now I care.

Eternal Bliss

Silence is all what I hear,
Its echoes is what now I have to bear,
I feel the ache, the burn of unshed tear,
At the sky I look, the unbinding vastness I fear,
Beyond it I see, God smile at me, so dear
Mesmerized by it, on the ground I fall.
With the broken sobs, pain shaking me whole,
“Why this suffering God, why this all?
After reaching the destiny, why do I fall?”
He smiles thus, against the night’s coal,
“Why thou fear m’child, nothing hidden from m’eyes,
Know, I do, thy throbbing, all the hurting lies”
I sit there…still, afraid to move,
Smiling...God extends His hand,
Soothing voices bloom, gone is the land.
Around me wings flutter, swirls the sand,
I sigh in those arms, feeling no pain.
Content…for the eternal life alas I gain.
Leaving behind the burning rain…
And this world…all so vain.

Dreams...

The moon ascended the stairs towards the vastness of the skies. Reaching there with all its glory. Looking down upon the earth in a soothing way. Enveloping the place with the silvery glow. How lovely are the portals of the night,When stars come out to watch the daylight die. The whole environment is hushed…as if speaking would break the pure fragile glass of silence. Peace prevails everywhere and the sanctity dominates the troubled minds. Sometimes the vulnerability of the night was broken by a soft hooting of an owl or a distant cry of some stray dog.
All this spreads the aura of a desire, a desire to retreat to a fantasized refuge. Where none other can reach but you.
It’s a valley where darkness prevails yet hopes flourish. Where souls depart yet happiness linger. That valley where things happen but are out of one’s reach…only to be felt.
Where there are no boundaries, no customs, no limitations and no restrictions. In that place you fly when you wish to, you swim deep when you desire to and you climb high when u intend to.
In that valley it is spring when you are happy. Flowers bloom everywhere, butterflies flutter and the shinning sun warms your spirit.
But its winter and autumn…cold and frozen in that valley when you are sad. Leaves flutter down from the trees, leaving their support…to be blown by the harsh winds towards destination unknown and to be cracked under alien feet.
The mist covering you…turns you cold. Your emotions get frozen. That is when your heart is not open.
It all happens in that valley. Its all about happiness, sorrow, springs, autumns, winters and emotions…..it is all about dreams...

Random

I dunno when I wud get to know the chemistry of other ppl. Ppl who are around me….whom I know. Some of them like my company…feels pleasure in my presence and makes me feel like sumone whereas sum just hate me…dislike me, loathe me…can’t even stand me. It’s a deep mystery. I dunno why when all the time am the same with everybody…the same self…..without any pretending then why sum hate me n sum love me??I dunno why sum ppl have dirty mind n cheap thought. Why don’t they think before pointing at sumbody not knowing that the rest of the fingers point at their own self. Why don’t they stand in other ppl’s shoes to feel the things with their point of view….see the things from their eyes.Why this world has become a mere cage of deceit…only treachery dominates here…why feelings don’t have any place here anymore..??Everybody thinks that whtever he’s doing is perfectly rite….why don’t they think before taunting and saying trash abt other ppl…I must add here saying things abt those ppl who they don’t even know...then why the hell do they spit crap!!!!Oh God! I never wish to think bad abt these ppl. I just want to forgive them…I know it’s the best act in ur eyes, God, but I am only a human being.No matter how hard I hold my tongue….grip my mind…sometime I just can’t tolerate anything. God, you are above all…above everything, you are the Al-might….the Al-merciful but wht am i??...A simple sinful human being…
So God it’s just too hard to control my anger and frustration when ppl do bad with me or with anybody else…Its not being bad and harsh just once but again n again and after all God am just a human…I can’t forgive them always….no matter how hard I try. I wish the person who does bad…thinks trash abt others without knowing them…just breaks his legs….fractures his arm…..falls down frm a tree….or at least the same thing happens to him…that sumone else also says trash abt him…thinks bad. Just to give him the taste of his own medicine.I just dunno why ppl do bad to others, why don’t they care about others feelings.Why don they reckon that today they are hurting someone but tomorrow they can also get hurt by someone they love, cherish n adore. You know wht…I do pray that sumthing like this happens to them. That someone they treasure…betrays them. Only then they wud feel it…only then they wud stand in other ppls shoes.I do wish…just to make them taste their own medicine….

Estranged soul..

Non of it comes to me..
why from truth do ppl flee?
non of it makes sense to me..
why get jealous frm other's glee?
non of it i understand..why curse the inevitable fate's hand?
non of these would i ever..
acknowledge neither perceive, never
Estranged soul i have become..
little love left for one to cherish.
hatred now dominates the passion,
little truth, little love, little trust
that was miraculously left...
now begins to crumble down with the crust.
non of it washes down to me...
give it some thought...won't ye??
estranged soul else u would be..!