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My Breath comes out cold as I wonder in this frosty winter night. My feet leaving prints on the fine, crunchy ice. After trudging for some time I stopped and looked back. All I could see is the snowy white ice and on it, looking like dark halo, imprints of my feet. Not at all elegant…the way they used to be, the gait has lost its grace. They are uncertain, heavy and stumbling steps. For some time, I sit there wishing for these prints to vanish, staring at them as if only staring would make the ice melt and fill those spaces known to be print of my feet.
When the fingers of my feet protested for the intense cold, l sigh, making a frosted white cloud in front of my face. “This cold and ice is so strange,” I thought. “You walk on it and your feet and body will remain warm, alive. Stop at it and it eats you up. Just like sadness…walk over it and you will remain warm, alive but stop at it… you suffocate and die.”
Darkness around me and the earth shining bright under my feet, I again walk ahead. The snake-line imprint of my feet following me everywhere I go. On the path, all the trees are bare with naked limbs intermingled, giving somewhat an eerie look. The path leads to a lake, all frozen. Taking small steps I reach it. Feeling an unknown dread I take a peep in it. The clear icy surface shows a face with dangerously dull eyes, colorless lips and mattered hair.
‘Who is she? ’ I wander.
The fear inside me holding me back, stopping me from acknowledging the answer I already knew.
‘It is you…’ the wind whispers in my ears. Stooping again…I look into those eyes; I extend my hand, the ‘person’ extents her hand too.
I touched it, so icy cold…shivers pass me.
‘This is me…’ was it a question or a remark??
A tear fell on the icy surface, I withdraw my hand and without looking back stand up, vacating that place which showed me my identity, my reality.
I now walk with a heavy heart, wishing this darkness swallows me up…makes me a part of it. This way I won’t have to bear those dull, vacant eyes and those colorless lips. Parted as if asking questions, those questions whose answers the mind knew but the heart doesn’t want to acknowledge.
I am running away from inevitable. I am afraid to voice aloud my fears. I want to pretend that everything is fine, the same. The sun shines…the moon spreads its glow and the stars twinkle in the vast velvety black sky….but then why is it so cold…??
The tail of footprints still following me, I creep through the silent cold night…hugging my own self, for in all this obscurity and draftiness…my body is the only asylum which tells…there’s Hope.
And I moved on…

O God...forgive me when i whine..

Today here I stand,
With clasped hands,
In front of the Mighty,
With down cast eyes, with piety.
Recalling my sins
And negligence of my duties
For engrossed I became
In these worldly beauties.
But after these days, so tiring,
I seek sanctuary in His kingdom.
Forget, I did, His message, His word.
Going knee deep in this freedom.
Today I am with bowed head,
My heart was replaced by lead.
I incurred His displeasure.
Being proud and holding high my head.
But again in front of Him I am,
To break through the refuge so sham
With every tear and every sob
I long for His blessing
For the forgiveness I hope.
He is Generous, He is Merciful,
He is Beneficial, He is Merciful.
He is the first, He is the Last.
“To Thee we pray,
And from Thee we seek help”
I am a mere human, a sinner
I look up at Him, the Forgiver.
Surely the fall my pride hath,
So please God:
“Guide us to the right path”
Never, I intend, to be astray
Holding His hand, showered in His blessings spray
Bowing down, to Him I thank
For this life and the happiness I bank,
Forgive me Allah…for my blindness
Am a swali in the court of Thy Highness
Forgive me…for only you know my tears,
And all my fears,
Blind I was…to seek help elsewhere
Now I feel light, as I stand here
Feeling a bond with You,
To be a better person, now I care.

Eternal Bliss

Silence is all what I hear,
Its echoes is what now I have to bear,
I feel the ache, the burn of unshed tear,
At the sky I look, the unbinding vastness I fear,
Beyond it I see, God smile at me, so dear
Mesmerized by it, on the ground I fall.
With the broken sobs, pain shaking me whole,
“Why this suffering God, why this all?
After reaching the destiny, why do I fall?”
He smiles thus, against the night’s coal,
“Why thou fear m’child, nothing hidden from m’eyes,
Know, I do, thy throbbing, all the hurting lies”
I sit there…still, afraid to move,
Smiling...God extends His hand,
Soothing voices bloom, gone is the land.
Around me wings flutter, swirls the sand,
I sigh in those arms, feeling no pain.
Content…for the eternal life alas I gain.
Leaving behind the burning rain…
And this world…all so vain.

Dreams...

The moon ascended the stairs towards the vastness of the skies. Reaching there with all its glory. Looking down upon the earth in a soothing way. Enveloping the place with the silvery glow. How lovely are the portals of the night,When stars come out to watch the daylight die. The whole environment is hushed…as if speaking would break the pure fragile glass of silence. Peace prevails everywhere and the sanctity dominates the troubled minds. Sometimes the vulnerability of the night was broken by a soft hooting of an owl or a distant cry of some stray dog.
All this spreads the aura of a desire, a desire to retreat to a fantasized refuge. Where none other can reach but you.
It’s a valley where darkness prevails yet hopes flourish. Where souls depart yet happiness linger. That valley where things happen but are out of one’s reach…only to be felt.
Where there are no boundaries, no customs, no limitations and no restrictions. In that place you fly when you wish to, you swim deep when you desire to and you climb high when u intend to.
In that valley it is spring when you are happy. Flowers bloom everywhere, butterflies flutter and the shinning sun warms your spirit.
But its winter and autumn…cold and frozen in that valley when you are sad. Leaves flutter down from the trees, leaving their support…to be blown by the harsh winds towards destination unknown and to be cracked under alien feet.
The mist covering you…turns you cold. Your emotions get frozen. That is when your heart is not open.
It all happens in that valley. Its all about happiness, sorrow, springs, autumns, winters and emotions…..it is all about dreams...