O God...forgive me when i whine..

Today here I stand,
With clasped hands,
In front of the Mighty,
With down cast eyes, with piety.
Recalling my sins
And negligence of my duties
For engrossed I became
In these worldly beauties.
But after these days, so tiring,
I seek sanctuary in His kingdom.
Forget, I did, His message, His word.
Going knee deep in this freedom.
Today I am with bowed head,
My heart was replaced by lead.
I incurred His displeasure.
Being proud and holding high my head.
But again in front of Him I am,
To break through the refuge so sham
With every tear and every sob
I long for His blessing
For the forgiveness I hope.
He is Generous, He is Merciful,
He is Beneficial, He is Merciful.
He is the first, He is the Last.
“To Thee we pray,
And from Thee we seek help”
I am a mere human, a sinner
I look up at Him, the Forgiver.
Surely the fall my pride hath,
So please God:
“Guide us to the right path”
Never, I intend, to be astray
Holding His hand, showered in His blessings spray
Bowing down, to Him I thank
For this life and the happiness I bank,
Forgive me Allah…for my blindness
Am a swali in the court of Thy Highness
Forgive me…for only you know my tears,
And all my fears,
Blind I was…to seek help elsewhere
Now I feel light, as I stand here
Feeling a bond with You,
To be a better person, now I care.

Eternal Bliss

Silence is all what I hear,
Its echoes is what now I have to bear,
I feel the ache, the burn of unshed tear,
At the sky I look, the unbinding vastness I fear,
Beyond it I see, God smile at me, so dear
Mesmerized by it, on the ground I fall.
With the broken sobs, pain shaking me whole,
“Why this suffering God, why this all?
After reaching the destiny, why do I fall?”
He smiles thus, against the night’s coal,
“Why thou fear m’child, nothing hidden from m’eyes,
Know, I do, thy throbbing, all the hurting lies”
I sit there…still, afraid to move,
Smiling...God extends His hand,
Soothing voices bloom, gone is the land.
Around me wings flutter, swirls the sand,
I sigh in those arms, feeling no pain.
Content…for the eternal life alas I gain.
Leaving behind the burning rain…
And this world…all so vain.

Dreams...

The moon ascended the stairs towards the vastness of the skies. Reaching there with all its glory. Looking down upon the earth in a soothing way. Enveloping the place with the silvery glow. How lovely are the portals of the night,When stars come out to watch the daylight die. The whole environment is hushed…as if speaking would break the pure fragile glass of silence. Peace prevails everywhere and the sanctity dominates the troubled minds. Sometimes the vulnerability of the night was broken by a soft hooting of an owl or a distant cry of some stray dog.
All this spreads the aura of a desire, a desire to retreat to a fantasized refuge. Where none other can reach but you.
It’s a valley where darkness prevails yet hopes flourish. Where souls depart yet happiness linger. That valley where things happen but are out of one’s reach…only to be felt.
Where there are no boundaries, no customs, no limitations and no restrictions. In that place you fly when you wish to, you swim deep when you desire to and you climb high when u intend to.
In that valley it is spring when you are happy. Flowers bloom everywhere, butterflies flutter and the shinning sun warms your spirit.
But its winter and autumn…cold and frozen in that valley when you are sad. Leaves flutter down from the trees, leaving their support…to be blown by the harsh winds towards destination unknown and to be cracked under alien feet.
The mist covering you…turns you cold. Your emotions get frozen. That is when your heart is not open.
It all happens in that valley. Its all about happiness, sorrow, springs, autumns, winters and emotions…..it is all about dreams...

Random

I dunno when I wud get to know the chemistry of other ppl. Ppl who are around me….whom I know. Some of them like my company…feels pleasure in my presence and makes me feel like sumone whereas sum just hate me…dislike me, loathe me…can’t even stand me. It’s a deep mystery. I dunno why when all the time am the same with everybody…the same self…..without any pretending then why sum hate me n sum love me??I dunno why sum ppl have dirty mind n cheap thought. Why don’t they think before pointing at sumbody not knowing that the rest of the fingers point at their own self. Why don’t they stand in other ppl’s shoes to feel the things with their point of view….see the things from their eyes.Why this world has become a mere cage of deceit…only treachery dominates here…why feelings don’t have any place here anymore..??Everybody thinks that whtever he’s doing is perfectly rite….why don’t they think before taunting and saying trash abt other ppl…I must add here saying things abt those ppl who they don’t even know...then why the hell do they spit crap!!!!Oh God! I never wish to think bad abt these ppl. I just want to forgive them…I know it’s the best act in ur eyes, God, but I am only a human being.No matter how hard I hold my tongue….grip my mind…sometime I just can’t tolerate anything. God, you are above all…above everything, you are the Al-might….the Al-merciful but wht am i??...A simple sinful human being…
So God it’s just too hard to control my anger and frustration when ppl do bad with me or with anybody else…Its not being bad and harsh just once but again n again and after all God am just a human…I can’t forgive them always….no matter how hard I try. I wish the person who does bad…thinks trash abt others without knowing them…just breaks his legs….fractures his arm…..falls down frm a tree….or at least the same thing happens to him…that sumone else also says trash abt him…thinks bad. Just to give him the taste of his own medicine.I just dunno why ppl do bad to others, why don’t they care about others feelings.Why don they reckon that today they are hurting someone but tomorrow they can also get hurt by someone they love, cherish n adore. You know wht…I do pray that sumthing like this happens to them. That someone they treasure…betrays them. Only then they wud feel it…only then they wud stand in other ppls shoes.I do wish…just to make them taste their own medicine….

Estranged soul..

Non of it comes to me..
why from truth do ppl flee?
non of it makes sense to me..
why get jealous frm other's glee?
non of it i understand..why curse the inevitable fate's hand?
non of these would i ever..
acknowledge neither perceive, never
Estranged soul i have become..
little love left for one to cherish.
hatred now dominates the passion,
little truth, little love, little trust
that was miraculously left...
now begins to crumble down with the crust.
non of it washes down to me...
give it some thought...won't ye??
estranged soul else u would be..!

I Exist...

the only light
is the candle flickering,
the love-stricken "parwanas"
leaping to it, then burning.
sacrificing all their life..
i feel like one of them..
so much burning alike.
in the cycle of re-births,
i born to die again..
to lessen this intense pain.
i dwell in this vast clan,
not any identity i have..
for you i want to live,
i burn again for another life...
all this i can not resist,
i want you to know..
i breathe...i live...i die..I Exist..!

Silent night

i drifted deep into the silent night,
trying to hold onto my life...with all my might,
Frozen are the eyes, for the warmths taken away,
from the heaviness of my heart...i stagger...i sway...
being stabbed i feel..with all the harshness i behold,
frosted are m'tears, emotions are m'cold,
pushed me, u did, ruthlessly in the pain.
left me so alone, in this pourin rain.
I question the Lord..ask for the mercy...is this all i get, is this all i gain?
for the love i held, for the truth i bled,
everything turns grey...the flowres just decay.
is this the fulfillment of all the time, i did, pray?
writhrin in sorrow, every second i die.
the moans i buried, in m'shattered self.
in all this hatred, finally i melt.
u never tried to feel the love, the pureness u never felt.
in this abyss, i now helplessly fall.
with the heart so broken, swollen are my feet.
i restore my path...the never ending journey i greet..
in the search of the answer, from the Lord above....
Is this pain the reward....of the fact i still love..???